9/7/2015 1 Comment
The horrors of the road
Don't drive through west Canada at night. Just don't do it, unless you are a maniac and enjoy the thrill of the swerve.
Things I have almost murdered with my car (by inches in some cases): two brown bears, one moose, two porcupine, one white-horned owl, three rabbits.
Things I have actually murdered: one small bird (I think), countless butterflies. One rabbit went under the car, but I tried to center it, so who knows how that went.
This doesn't include the wildlife I have come in contact with safely: caribou, TONS of buffalo, more moose, a black bear.
There is this video I am really proud of that I have on my actual camera and can't share right now. I'm shoveling some banana bread into my mouth with a heard of buffalo standing behind me.
People love buffalo. This min-van driving in front of me SLAMMED on their breaks to rubberneck some buffalo, which turns out, are like squirrels. What makes this funny is that not even 10 minutes later, the same van speeds past a freaking black bear perusing right off the road. Not even a brake pump. "Hey! Is that a buffalo? No? Just a bear? Nevermind."
I didn't think one could almost run over a brown bear, but I now know, it's possible. There were two, both with large, block radio collars. The porcupine were the most narrowly missed. The craziest one that I will never forget is the white owl. It had to have been more than a foot tall and sitting in the middle of the two lanes, facing the other direction. It never once turned its head to look at me. As I swerved and passed it, it unfolded its wings and like a gust of wind had come in, swooped itself off the pavement and straight up.
The rabbits freak me out because they remind me of that picture from Vietnam of the little girl, naked, running towards the camera. It's called Napalm Girl. That sounds insensitive, but I know the woman. I mean, I know of her. She did an interview recently on NPR. Here it is.
The point is they just come screaming at you like they are the final female in some horror flick. It's terrifying with the headlights. It will haunt me.
9/10/2015 07:30:30 pm
I can only imagine what a pair of old eyes would do under these circumstances. Wonder if these are the reason more people don't have jobs of driving vehicles into Alaska.
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